So it happened.
I met one.
In person.
Face to Face.
I will perhaps get into the details of the actual encounter in later posts, but for today I want to focus on leading up to said meeting.
Now, this was the boy who said, several times, “have you had any luck with online dating?” from the previous post.
No, dude, I haven’t, and obviously neither have you, and I can maybe see why?
But then he emailed saying, “We should meet in person.”
Yes. Yes, we should, I answered.
Here is my phone number.
The next day I received an email saying, “Great, how about this day. Here’s my phone number.”
Now, maybe I’m crazy.
Maybe I don’t understand the dating social structure.
But if I give a boy my phone number, and we’ve discussed a meeting, doesn’t that mean he’s supposed to call me? As the man? Not chicken out and throw it back on me?
So, being the person that I am, I sent him this text:
“Hello- It’s Linda. You cheated! You can’t give your number after I already gave mine!! Why don’t YOU call ME tomorrow, and we can make a plan?”
And guess what. He did.
(I had a glimpse the possible future and who would wear the pants in this pairing...)
Now I’m not much of a phone talker- I kind of hate the phone. So I can’t judge him on the initial conversation too harshly. But he’s obviously not a phone talker either.
Or a planner, as I made all the decisions.
(BOYS WHO READ THIS: Girls like when you have a plan!)
So we have a meeting time, a meeting place.
This show is getting on the road.
8:30 for dessert at the Dodo in Sugarhouse.
(because even if the dates a fluke, who cares when you have that peanut butter pie in front of you????)
I get a phone call at 8 p.m.
CONVERSATION:
(we will call him Boy for this activity)
Linda: Hello?
Boy: (monotone, quiet) Hi.
Linda: How are you today?
Boy: Fine.
Linda: Good! So what’s up? (reaching- because, remember- he called me...)
Boy:... So.... I’m just leaving Bountiful. (he was at a Golf Tournament all day).
Linda: Ok. Do we need to meet later? I am totally fine with that.
Boy: Um... I don’t know....
Linda: Well, how long will it take you to drive here? I am very flexible.
Boy: Um... I don’t know....
Linda: Alright. Well, this is totally up to you. You tell me what works for you.
Boy: Um.... Well... I’m all sweaty. If I go home and take a shower it will be later.
Linda: So should we say 9:30? Is that what you want to do?
Boy: Um.... Well... I don’t know.
Linda: Again, I am totally flexible. You tell me.
Boy: ...Let’s meet earlier...I don’t want to shower. But I’ll be all sweaty. I don’t smell too bad, I don’t think.
Linda: That remains to be seen, Boy. That remains to be seen.
AND- scene.
Now to his credit he didn’t stink.
(But I’ve never had very strong olfactory senses)
But here’s the thing. That conversation told me, “I don’t really care all that much about the impression I give you. And I don’t want to take the time to put my best self forward for you.” I mean, the guy lives in Sugarhouse, and we were meeting at the Dodo? If he went home to shower first it would have been an extra, what, 15 minutes? If that??
So, loyal readers, I want your input. Should he have taken the time to shower? How much should a guy have a plan and “take charge” on a date? Am I being my totally irrational judgmental self, or do I have a point here?
12 comments:
It's not the not showering that bothers me as much as his complete lack of enthusiasm for the meeting. and his lame-o-ness on the phone. give him another chance if the actual meeting went well. make him do the planning this time. all of it! even tell him that it's his turn to plan the night. if he fails again- kick him to the curb.
I have a theory about boys like this guy. I meet them all the time in my ward! I always see a lot of pluses to these guys. They wind up doing a lot around the house, they are good at care taking (the kids and wife if she's sick), and they wear whatever clothes their wife tells them to wear. I could be wrong, but, that's my impressions from what you've said. My impression of the shower thing was that he just wanted to hurry and see you. I think he might have been worried that getting ready would take to long. Now I'm dying to know what he was like in person. I'm guessing he was pretty nervous? If he was too scared to call first!
Sorry, I totally didn't prroof read!
The bigger question, to me, is this: Why could he have not PLANNED and made it to the Dodo meeting place showered and on-time? Is staying until the end of the golf tournament, when he knows he has plans with you, an emergency? Geesh.
yes he should have called and he should have had a plan. and YES he should have told you he needed to bump things later so he could go home and get ready.
good grief. no girl wants to hear "i'm sweaty but i don't smell." gee whiz let me get my best lip gloss out for that!
He definitely should have showered OR he should have had enough game to pretend like he was showered. C'mon guy! Of course, I'm kind of married to the guy that Terese described (it's a good life). And he also manages to plan dates and shower. At least most of the time...
i'm with terese on this one. can't judge too much from that one conversation. yes, what he did was kinda lame, but what matters is how he was on the date. so...
tell us already!!!!
Maybe he was just so excited to meet you...he didn't want to be away from you one extra minute, even if it was to shower.
Shower/no shower. No big deal. Why on earth would he have involved you in the decision? Silly boy. Ditto everyone who said it depends how the actual meeting went. HOW DID IT GO??? Your fan club is dying to know.
I'm glad he didn't stink! That whole shower thing is just weird. Probably just didn't want to make things more difficult for you, even though you said you were flexible. Let's hear about the meeting! Was the Dodo good just because of the dessert or because of more? :)
TELL US THE REST ALREADY!!! Melissa and I are sitting here laughing and ready to hear the update. Can't wait for your next post. I'm guessing the indecisiveness was nerves...
You are not wrong Linda. I agree with you. However, maybe he's not into appearances, or he's not much of a groomer. Who knows where his head was at at the time. I'd still give him a chance, but he'd have to make up for it with some other aspect of his personality.
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