THANKFUL

THANKFUL

THESE ARE A FEW 

OF THE MANY THINGS 

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FRIEND KALEB WHO SAW A PLAY WITH ME AFTER I ASKED THREE DIFFERENT GUYS TO GO WITH ME 

AND GOT TURNED DOWN EVERY TIME. 

(REALLY, UNIVERSE?? REALLY?!?! 

I'M OPENING MYSELF UP TO YOU, AND YOU JUST KICK ME IN THE FACE. RIDICULOUS, THAT'S WHAT IT IS) 

SIDE NOTE, BEFORE ANYONE GETS TOO EXCITED- 

KALEB IS 11 YEARS MY JUNIOR, AND I AM HIS BOSS. 

BUT HE IS GREAT.

I AM THANKFUL FOR THE DUMBEST BUT FLUFFIEST CAT 

WHO WAS APPARENTLY TRYING TO CONTRIBUTE 

TO THE BLOG THAT BEARS HIS NAME.

I'M THANKFUL FOR DIET COKE, 

WITHOUT WHICH NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE. 

THESE ARE ALL MINE FROM WORK TODAY. 

I DON'T DISCRIMINATE WHERE I PURCHASE MY DIET COKE FROM, 

AS YOU CAN TELL.

AND FINALLY, I'M THANKFUL THAT WHEN "THE DRESS" 

THAT I REALLY WANTED IS PERHAPS NOT FOR SALE ANYMORE 

AND I WAS INCREDIBLY A LITTLE BIT SAD ABOUT IT, 

(HERE'S TO HOPING IT GOES BACK TO THE MARKET REAL SOON)

 THAT MY COUSIN/BFF ENCOURAGED ME TO DO SOME RETAIL THERAPY 

AND BUY A REAL DRESS.

 AND I'M THANKFUL THAT THIS COINCIDED WITH ANTHROPOLOGIE HAVING A BLACK FRIDAY DOORBUSTER OF 50% OFF ALL SALE. 

I WAITED IN LINE FOR 45 MINUTES TO GET THIS SUCKER. 

BUT IT DOES LOOK GOOD WITH THE RED TIGHTS, DON'T YOU THINK? 

You know when you see a dress you just love?** 

Let’s say it’s from Anthropologie. And you see this dress in the window often. You’ve gone into the store and tried the dress on more times than you can count. And when you put on that dress you feel invincible- you feel beautiful, and powerful, and you know it makes a statement. It hugs your figure in all the right places, and compliments you to a tee. The employees in the store recognize you, and they smile when you come in. Maybe you even go put in on hold. But they only hold things for 24 hours, and you let the time lapse.

And let’s say that perhaps the dress is out of your price range. You walk around the store for an hour holding the dress, contemplating how you wont have cause to even wear it for awhile, but it is the sort of thing you would see in your closet and smile for having. But you can’t decide if it is worth what the price tag says, and you don’t buy it.

Yet, you still want to own a new dress, so you go to other stores. 

Maybe you go to TJMaxx, or Ross, or (gasp!) the Dress Barn. And you find a few dresses and you try them on. They are fine. They are reasonably priced, and they fit o.k. You maybe even buy one of them. But it just sits in your closet, and you put it on in the morning, but then take it back off because it just isn’t that interesting. You feel ho-hum in these dresses. None of these dresses seem quite right, because you’ve already tried on THE dress. 

So you go and return the TJ/Ross/Dress Barn dress.

And you still think of that other fabulous dress. 

I went on a date this weekend. He was an encounter from the website, and was nice enough. He also giggled like a 12 year old girl, and doesn’t have a job, and hasn’t had a real job- ever, and informed me that he is being deployed to Afghanistan with the National Guard for the next year. 

We met up at the Old Spaghetti Factory, and I was able to go to American Apparel afterwards, and buy these tights:

So all was not completely lost. 

(yes, those are RED tights, and yes that is Manny's but).

All I can think is that the red tights would go incredibly well with that one dress.


**Apparently, people weren't getting that the dresses were metaphors. This is a blog about dating, friends. Dresses= boys. See how that works? So now- do you hold out for the great dress?

Dumbledore

On the dating site I am patronizing, you can put a quote by your profile that people will see alongside your picture. 

This is my quote:

"Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."

I also have this picture up with my profile.

I had a really cute guy write to me, and ask where the great quote came from.

I answered, and said, "The quote came from none other than the amazing Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, chief Wizard of the Wizengamot, and one of the greatest literary characters ever."

Are you shocked that I never heard from him again? 

Are you shocked that I even do online dating?

Hope you all enjoyed watching the last in the Harry movie installments this past weekend, with it's DVD release. I know I did. 

Sometimes I get this song stuck in my head:

 

Again, aren't you shocked that I'm online?

ROI

ROI

We talk a lot about a Return On Investment (ROI) at my job. 

Are you getting a good enough return for the energy and resources you are investing in any given project?

This has caused me to think about my Dating ROI. 

Most of my past, and rather large, investments had little to no return.

• My marathon crush in Junior High, where I think we spoke all of two times, but I loved him for 2 years.
• Writing a guy letters for 2 full years in High School, back and forth, and then having one date with him.
• Spending 2 full years in college with the same friend, thinking that all of a sudden we would miraculously be more than just friends. (We didn’t). 
• Spending about 2 years, and who knows how much money (that I would much rather be spending elsewhere) on online dating subscriptions with little to show for it. 

(I’m actually sensing a theme in my time investments- 2 years!! No wonder I’m still single...)

Looking up the idea of ROI on Wikipedia gave me this:

And just looking at that gave me this:

Sorry about that.

So anyways...

This week’s Newsweek had a cover story called “Money Brain: The New Science Behind Your Spending Addiction.”  

This cover spoke to me for obvious reasons... 

The basic idea is that the brain is wired differently for people who want instant gratification versus those who plan and save, specifically in parts of the brain that “predict consequences.”  Those who are savers are those who can see long term benefits more- they see the future rewards.

They say that people who are spenders, not savers, are “neither stupid nor irrational [Thank you, Newsweek!!] but often simply don’t accurately foresee the consequences of not saving.”  

“Rewire the brain to find pleasure in future rewards,” Newsweek says, “and you’re on the path to a future you really want.” 

A professor at Claremont Graduate School (shout out, mama!! That’s where her PhD is from!) says that “If you defer gratification, the pay off can be greater than with immediate gratification... But your brain has to learn that.”  He also says that “a squirt of the hormone oxytocin- known as the “love hormone” because of the role it plays in pair bonding and maternal behavior- makes people more patient.” 

Reading this article, I’ve realized that my brain’s ventral striatum and medial prefrontal cortex are, obviously, not wired for instant gratification in matters of the heart. Over the years it has learned to wait, and I am wired to see the future rewards when it comes to love. I see that certain special someone,that Oxytocin comes a pumping into my blood stream, and BOOM- I can wait out anything.

And perhaps that is why I have absolutely no self control when it comes to my shopping addictions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, after all. I may not be able to wait for that sweater at Anthropologie, but when it comes to a man, my patience is staggering. 

It may just be my ventral striatum talking here, but I think that future love payoff- when I do finally get it- is going to be amazing.