I am noticing some strange patterns emerging in the matches I am receiving.
Pattern #1:
There are a lot of guys on here that talk about how often they Work Out. I put it in CAPITOL LETTERS because that is how they mean it when they are informing us. I am a Tough Guy. I Work Out. Now, granted, I work out too- 4-5 times a week!! My trainer, Ramiro, made me puke this morning at the gym!! (don’t worry, he said, because he does that to himself at least twice a month in his own workouts...Yikes.)
I've even seen the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, Pumping Iron!!
MULTIPLE TIMES!! (the things we do to impress a guy...)
But I usually just work out. I don’t Work Out. And lets not be fooling ourselves- as it clearly states in the 2002 Sundance festival feature film starring America Fererra,
Real Women Have Curves.
And friends, I am a real woman.
There is a section on the profile page where it asks what 4 things friends would say about you if asked- #1 response that these guys have given is “physically fit.”
That is totally what all of you would say about me, right??..... Right?......
Yeah, I know. I put these 4:
- Happy
- Genuine
- Easy-Going
- Loyal
Pattern #2:
Blue Collar Jobs. I have been matched daily with more than one guy listing the following occupations: foreman for an excavation company, Welding and Fabrication, self employed, construction, hot metals tech, 911 Dispatcher.
Now, these are good, honest, hard working men.
But I have a bit of a problem.
I’m kind of a snob...
I asked one of them what he did for a living, and got this response:
“I work the swing shift at Trainer... If one of the 2 details has problem with there tickets... I'm either really busy with traing, refresh/new hire project or i have alot of time on my hands... I've had a lot my hands past couple of weeks.... But Aug should be supper busy though...”
(don’t speed read this- read the words as he writes them. I copied and pasted as is.... It’s like the back of my latest Bollywood DVD that gives a synopsis of the film: “PITAAH is a father, is that faced of male personality which right from a child to an adult identifies within the ocean of humanity called “The World.” PITTAH is a story of one such father.” I’m not kidding, that’s what it says. I love Bollywood...)
Now, if this guy turns out to be the love of my life, as a disclaimer I would like to say, Dear- I love you, you’re wonderful, and I am sooooo lucky to have you in my life! ...But I don’t know what the hell your talking about. Reading and writing are two of my passions in life. And they are obviously not in yours...
My sister gave me a shirt once that said on it, “I’ll be a bit nicer if you’ll be a bit smarter.”
Can you see why?
12 comments:
Oh Linda. This is the best one yet! I was thinking the same thing...what in the hell was he talking about?!?! ha ha.
I'm thinking you just need to push delete or whatever it is you do to "end" the cyber relationship. I don't think I can allow him to be the love of your life. Good work! Keep it up!
Josh loves your writing! We read this together. That pic of the guy in the overalls is hilarious. I'd choose so many other professions than Trainer? for you!! Your blog is addicting. I can't wait to hear what happens next. Can I tell people about it or are you keeping it on the DL?
Oh my gosh Linda! Can I put a link of your blog onto mine? I need to be reading this because I love it :)
Link me, share me, tell your friends!! How am I going to get my book deal, or get calls from magazines if you all don't spread the word??? ; )
Oh i miss you!!! you are so funny! I argee with Rachel write a book so i can read it pleeassee!!! love ya.
There are not many guys out there that share your reading/writing passion. Hence the math/science stereotype. That was pretty bad though! So funny! What a good source of entertainment. I just started going to the gym again it it is so weird how it's such a different experience for guys than it is for girls. Seriously, we're so not impressed guys!
Found your blog...you are hilarious!
Linda, I love that you're doing this! I can't believe it is all real and not made up. I've got to tell Jessica about it. I'm sure she would love to hear about the madness. You keep writing and I'll keep reading!!!
What you want is a programmer! Is there somewhere on the site to mark 'programmers only'?
(there might be some overlap with the Irish dance crowd, though)
My favorite line is, "And friends, I am a real woman." Love it. Love you.
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