A sad truth about my life is that I don’t date.
Like, ever.
I have averaged one a year for the past decade, all of them set ups, with no promising outcomes.
To add to the mix through out my 20’s were a collection of boys who turned out to be either “not that into me” or gay.
- From a guy I hung out with daily, and exclusively, for several years: “Linda. I don’t know why I’m not attracted to you.I must just be really shallow.” (Ouch. I went home and agonized over every imperfection, wondering as to which one he was referring.)
- From a guy I kissed daily and exclusively, for several months, years after the fact. “Linda, I never really was that attracted to you. It was just so convenient because all of our friends were dating.”
- From a guy I hung out with and would have kissed. “Linda, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Doug.”
I’ve curiously maintained friendships with all of them after these horrendous comments,
watching them marry,
have babies,
come out...
always wondering what my problem was as I went on my annual date.
So at 31 I am swallowing my pride.
I am throwing caution to the wind.
I am opening myself up to the Universe
for opportunities.
I HAVE SIGNED UP FOR ONLINE DATING...
And as I can’t talk about it without rolling my eyes or making a gagging reflex,
I will communicate it’s progress in the way I do best.
Through satiric prose.
So wether you are reading to live vicariously, appreciate what you have more deeply, or to laugh wholeheartedly, enjoy.
lmb
5 comments:
I'm rooting for you!! Good luck! I have heard so many success stories from people about the online dating world. Those boys don't know what they're missing!
As someone who only fairly recently left the dating world I salute you Linda Marie. This could be totally great, and I'm sure that no one will be able to write about the not so great moments as well as you. Remember, all those men have no idea how good life could be with you in it.
Wow! I love that you are continuing the Opening to the Universe theme. But let's also be very clear about one thing: those men are idiots (besides the gay ones--they at least have a valid excuse) and also low-functioning (that description probably also includes the gay ones). Seriously, consider the source. You are vibrant and smart and talented and even though you don't believe it, absolutely stunningly beautiful (anytime I introduce you to anyone, they inevitably comment on it). Still, I can't wait to hear about this new adventure. And since Square is no longer around, I will love getting to read your work here. P.S.--if I ever read about anything important again on your blog FIRST before hearing it from you, we are going to have to have a serious DTR. Love you!
linda - just think about all the great stories you'll have to blog about!!!! woo-hoo!
i think this new adventure will be muy bueno!
Um... was the "Doug" one me?
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