Bone Crushing Hugs...

Today all I can think is this:

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The other day I was leaving my sister's house in the late evening.
My 7 year old Nephew came running down the driveway after me. 
"Linda!" He shouted. "Linda!! WAIT!"
I quickly got out of my car.
"What?!" I thought he surely must be hurt to come running after me like that.
"Linda!" He cried, as if his heart would break. "You didn't hug me goodbye before you left!"
(I know, right?)
And then, as he wrapped his arms around me, and gave me a bone crushing bear hug, he whispered in my ear, "When am I going to see you again?" (as if I don't see him 3-4 times a week, which I do...)
"I don't know," I told him. "But I know it will be soon."
He pulled away and nodded. His face said, it isn't tomorrow, and you aren't staying now, but I will accept the difficulties of my 7 year old life that I don't get to see you all the time. 

As I drove away, I was struck by the fact that no other of the male species has perhaps ever shown such enthusiasm to spend time with me. 


In the world of Online Dating, it takes energy and game playing like you wouldn't believe to get to the point of actually hanging out with these guys. 
And then there are the ones that you already know, and have hung out with. And want to hang out with more. And they are IMPOSSIBLE to nail down.


I've said it before, but it bears repeating. 
What am I looking for in a man? 
Unabashed Adoration.
Someone who will run after me down the driveway, begging to see me again, giving bone crushing hugs, wanting to be with me. 


I know, I know... It doesn't exist... 


Ok. So let's qualify this...


Howabout someone that just says to me, "Linda, I'd really like to spend some time with you." 
And then they do.


Yes. 


That would be just as good.

Change of Pace

My mother is afraid that I am too negative and judgmental and mean.

And I have had many people ask me if I’ve ever actually had any good dates in all of my   ridiculous experiences. 

So, for a change of pace, here are some great dates I’ve had:

• Gone with the Wind and Phish Food ice cream.
• Lagoon Frightmares
• The Tango @ Murray Arts Center
• A movie in the park and Bob Seiger blasting

These dates span the last decade of my life. And, sadly, they are close to the only good dates I’ve had. And I have learned, in my blogging life, that I am not good at giving as many scruitinizig details when I actually have emotion involved. So the bullets are all you get for info. 

But- you may be asking yourself, what made these dates so great?

What is Linda Marie’s criteria?

There is one common denominator. 

These were all guys that I already had interest in that said, “Her! I pick her!” 

And they actually asked me out.

I have had a LOT of set ups in my time- the kind of set ups that keep you up at night wondering how the person who set you up must really feel about you to think you would be compatible with that particular doofus.  And some of them have been ok. But none of them have been great. 

Because there is nothing better than thinking, “this awesome guy wants to go out with ME!” 

Now, obviously, these dates didn’t pan out to be much more than a blip on my time/love-line. 

But I remember feeling totally and completely twiterpated with all of them. 

And that is what makes a great date. 

852

(my main profile picture)

In the short time I’ve been back on, the website has informed me that my profile has been viewed 852 times!! 

852!!! 

Out of those 852 I have recieved 20 emails. 

Out of those 20 emails I’ve replied to 5.

Out of those 5 I’ve received 2 responses.

Out of those 2 responses...

Well, lets just say that the next 852 better bring their “A” game. It’s not looking very promising thus far. 

(patience, Linda...)

One guy wrote to me, “This is kind of random......but you have an amazing smile.”

Which is funny, because out of the 20 emails I received, 15 said, “You have a great smile!” 

So originality isn’t the strong suit of these fellows. 

I emailed him back and said, “Really? Is it that random?”.... I haven’t heard back. 

Oops, I did it again...

Oops, I did it again...

It has been almost 6 months since I ended my various online subscriptions.

And I had quite the summer, let me tell you.

I had an almost relationship.

An almost relationship is- well, it is exactly what it sounds like. 

So close... but no cigar. 

And really, this boy has ruined me forever. Why, you ask? 

Well.

At the beginning of the summer I said to a dear friend of mine, “You know what? If this is what my life is going to be, I think I’m okay with that. I have a pretty happy life. I don’t need no stinkin’ man!!” 

And then this fellow came along and almost happened. 

And then nothing was fully realized.

Except that I fully realized that I was so full of it. I was absolutely delusional when I said that to my friend.

Because once confronted with the possibility of perhaps maybe almost having a man in my life, I realized that while I don’t need one, I sure would like one. 

A week or so ago one of my sisters said, “But Linda- is this particular guy keeping you from other guys?” with a tone of caution and worry. (because he is still around at times, and still not happening...)

“No!” I said, indignantly. 

But the thing is, and here is the real tragedy, there are no other guys. 

Because stripped of my online arsenal of man toys, the well was once again running dry in my dating world. 

And because this relationship was/is still almost, but not, in a fit of frustration I went home and reenlisted.

I am now one week in on my second tour of duty. Joining the ranks of the millions of hopeful (hopeless?) singles out there. 

And guess what- If I hated it the first time, I DESPISE it this time.

How in the world did I do this for a YEAR last time? How did I stand it? How did I put up with the fools, the d-bags, the septuagenarians that really shouldn’t be allowed to contact me EVER in this context? HOW????

And then I remembered. I made fun of every second. I wrote to the world about every fool, dingbat, lunatic, git out there. 

And so, here I go again. Armed, as I was last time, with snark and wit, and not much else.

As I write this I may or may not be blasting Brittany. And I may or may not be thinking how I should have spent the money on Netflix instead of online dating. And I may or may not still be wishing that what almost was, just was...

But whatever it is I am or am not doing, I am giving it another go...