36, when you tell people that is how old you are turning and you can see in their eyes. They are thinking, "wow, that is older than I thought..."
36, when you are officially closer to 40 than 30.
36, when medically they say your eggs start dying exponentially.
36, when a best friend tells you in all seriousness to consider freezing your eggs.
36, when you have friends done with having kids.
36, when your mom had you, and you were the 6th child.
36, when you never thought you'd still be alone.
36, when people have learned to stop asking about your dating life.
36 different times you've tried online dating sites.
36, when you look at pictures of men and think, "Wow, that dude is old." And then you realize you are older than them.
36 times you've watched You've Got Mail.
36 seasons of the Bachelor that you keep watching because CHRIS HARRISON! And LOVE!!
36% of your DVR filled with things you know you're never going to watch, but you can't delete them. You may get to the last two seasons of The Originals, right?
36, where you enter a new demographic, and are no longer in the coveted 18-35 TV viewing range, but your TV viewing habits are in the 12-18 range (hello, CW Network, I'm looking at you) so it's fine.
36 books sitting in a pile for you to read, but you have to do homework instead.
36 times a day that you pet Mandrake. With your foot. Because that cat is Guano Crazy.
36 times a day you are glad you don't work retail full time.
36 pairs of shoes in your closet, but you wear three.
36 times you looked at new shoes online, just in case.
36 pounds you wish you could loose.
36 days without Diet Coke, and no you don't feel better, and no you haven't lost weight, and yes maybe it's okay if it is eating your insides out when you drink it, because really what is the point of not drinking it?
36 days without sugar, except for that one time you couldn't handle it anymore and started eating Nutella out of the jar with a spoon, and then that other time that you were at Swig for the first time and you HAD to get the sugar cookie. And you ate the whole thing. And then you wanted to puke. And you haven't lost weight and maybe it's okay if it is eating your insides out when you eat it, because really what is the point of not eating it?
36, when you never imagined you'd be getting a Masters Degree. In Business. Because you still aren't quite sure how to spell business. (Thank you spell check).
36 more years till you pay off student loans.
36, when you support yourself and make a good living.
36, when you still feel like you're 22. But you're not.
36 times you laughed at yourself. Today.
36, when you have to think about how old you are when someone asks.
36 -the age that has no songs about it, but for some strange reason 23 has TONS- Dave Matthews Band, Blink 182, Incubus, just to name a few- and you wish you knew why 23 was significant, and did you realize 23 was significant when you were 23, and you wish you can make 36 significant.
36 days until the Tan-orexia really starts to set in, and the computer sun shade comes out of storage.
36 days until you were supposed to be born, and you are really glad that you aren't a "midget Cretin" like the doctor told your parents you would be, but really couldn't they have stopped praying for you to grow big and strong at a future balance of like 5'4" and 120 lbs?
36 times you obsessively check to see how many people read a post after you publish it, and you wonder who reads it, and why, and you don't think you're that interesting really, but you try to make yourself interesting, and you want them to laugh. To think. To be entertained for a moment or two.
36 birthday's celebrated with friends and loved ones because your BFF gives you lectures about self promotion and making things happen for your birthday, and she will be so mad at you if you just stay at home, an ostrich with your head buried in the sand alone, like you are naturally inclined to do.
36 years of loss, learning, fun, adventure, friends, family, cats, clothes, stories both read and shared.
36 years of a pretty good life, and now waiting to see what the next year will bring.
