Thursday, May 8, 2014

I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER, SO KEEP EMAILING ME, MAYBE?

In the last four months I have probably given my phone number out to at least 100 guys, between all the many technological dating helps I am privy to. 

But a weird thing keeps happening- Several keep emailing, even after I give my number. I gave one guy my number three times, and he continued to email.  

There are a lot who have texted me. 
There are a few who have said they’d like to meet.
There are a few who have said they’d like to meet, and when I said when, I never hear from them again.  
I had one that I was going to meet, and we had a day and time arranged, but when I didn’t immediately reply when he suggested the place, he informed me that he made other plans, and I never heard from him again. 
I’ve had 156 matches on Tinder. 
I’ve had conversations with 53 of them. 
I’ve gone out with 4 of them.

I went on a date with Santa Clause recently. 
He was jolly, rosy cheeked, with a nicely groomed beard, and a kind of giggle when he laughed. The whole evening I was with him I kept thinking, “Who does he remind me of?” and as I drove home, it hit me. He was Kris Kringle.  If Kris Kringle was 35, single, and living in Salt Lake City.  We had fun. He was easy to talk to. He said maybe 10 times, “You are SO fun!” and I thought to myself, “I KNOW! It’s about freaking time someone realized it!” He made reference to us hanging out again- to driving up Millcreek Canyon, to seeing new movies, and to going to Comic-Con. “That would be fun!” I answered, every time. And he gave good hugs, which is a rarity, and is a super plus in my book.
A few days after I texted him, and said thanks again for a fun evening.

His Response:
“Yes! I think your great! I just get frustrated with the whole      dating thing. Not sure how to make more friends. I have been accused of being a flirt and leading girls on. So I don’t want to do that. But I do want to make more friends and get together with those friends often. Going to movies alone is no fun. But leading girls on is no fun either. Any advice?”

Friend Zoned.

My reply:
Sorry. If I had any good advice, I wouldn’t still be single…  ;) Any time you need a movie buddy, I’m your gal!

I haven’t heard from him since.

I went on a date with a security officer for the LDS church recently. 
He seemed interesting, and conversation flowed easily. His online profile said, “If you contact me, I will ask you out, so be ready.” So I sent the first message and said, “So when are we going out?” He replied immediately, “How about Wednesday?” 
I gave him kudos for spontaneity, and cutting to the chase. After what I thought had been a pleasant dinner, he informed me that he had to leave, to get to Provo within the hour.
Him: “Because a friend of mine let me know that her divorce is official today, so we can finally hang out!! It’s pretty great.”
Me: “Um…OK… Cool?”
And as we parted ways, he didn’t even give me so much as a handshake as he went on to his next date.

I haven't heard from him since.

I went on a date with a realtor recently.  
He was nice, and lunch was delicious. But goodness, our conversation did NOT flow. Awkward silences. Thumb twiddling. And then, at one point, after an uncomfortably long silence:
Him:  “So…. Do you have any pets?”
Me: too eagerly, “I have a scrappy black cat named Mandrake!”
Him: … “I’m allergic to cats.”
And then, he began to tell me all about another girl he met online.

I haven't heard from him since. 

I went on a second date recently. 
I don’t get a lot of second dates, so it is significant. 

So what if the first date was 8 years ago?

I didn’t know this upon meeting him (again), however. I was doing my due diligence, and Internet stalking him (we ALL do it!!!)  a few days before our scheduled date, and discovered a mutual friend on Facebook. I immediately emailed her, to get the scoop on him.

Her: “Remember you met him at my house several years ago? I set you up and we played games?”
Me:  “NO. WAY. It’s the same guy?!”

I saved this juicy piece of information for the second date. 
After ordering our food I said, “I have a REALLY good story to tell you.” And proceeded to tell him how we went out before.
Two things were very obvious. 
1. He kind of didn’t remember at ALL, but pretended like he did. 
2. He wasn’t as amused by it as I was.  
He was quick to get up to leave, after just 45 minutes together. He walked me to my car, gave me a weak side hug, with a “Nice to meet you.”
“Again!” I said.
And then he walked away saying, “Maybe in another 8 years we can do this again!”

I haven't heard from him since.


2 comments:

robin marie said...

Oh my goodness I want to kick security guard divorce finalized guy!!!

Heather said...

Even though I have heard these stories, your writing them brings a whole new perspective and ties it all together. Well done, my friend, well done.