The thing about me is I LOVE hype.
If you ever want to invite me to a concert, a midnight movie
premiere, a book signing- I’ll be there. Even if it isn’t something I’m uber in
to, I will want to be there around the energy and fun. I love seeing people passionate, seeing people excited, seeing people become overcome by their love
of something- anything!
So when a friend asked if I wanted to go to Salt Lake City’s
first Comic Con, it wasn’t a hard sell.
I don’t read comics. I don’t know about video games beyond Super Mario Bros. I
haven’t read every sci-fi book. But I love knowing about it all. I read my
issues of Entertainment Weekly cover to cover, even if it isn’t about something I personally watch or read. I love a good story, whatever the origin. I love heroes’
journeys. I love the age-old idea of love and friendship and goodness
vanquishing all evil. And a good story is the common thread in all things “Nerd”.
And so it was, I found myself attending three days worth of
the geekiest of geeky Comic Con activities, including meeting Atreyu from Never
Ending Story (Atreyuuuuu!!!!!!), fist bumping the OG Batman, Mr. Adam West (he
wouldn’t shake-only bump), and spending an hour listening to none other than the
King of Geeks, Mr. William Shatner, wax philosophical and share stories about
pranking Leonard Nemoy.
I saw a lot.
I talked to a guy in Lederhosen, and asked what the
character reference was. He said there was none- that he just has lederhosen,
and this seemed like a good occasion to wear them.
It was all quite epic.
But nothing was quite as epic as Sci-Fi Speed Dating.
When looking at the
panel and activity options I saw this and KNEW it was a must. I’ve always
wanted to try Speed Dating.
But their tagline was what did it for me.
“Are you looking for love in Alderaan Places?”
I mean, who can resist that?
Go big or go home, I always say.
We had to sign up several hours before the event started.
Women were free, but the fellows had to pay $10 for the privilege of spending 3
minutes across from us.
And as we gave them our names, we were able to see a few of
our lucky suitors waiting in line to pay…
Once we arrived, it was apparent that there were several
things wrong with the organization of this particular activity, (we seriously
want to start our own such company in Sale Lake City so we can do it right),
but nothing was quite so terrible as the “Host.”
Only the ladies were allowed in the room first. We each took
our seat, and he proceeded to tell us how we should be respected, and that if
at any time we feed degraded or upset or uncomfortable to let them know and
they would speedily remove the offender. But then, as he continued his
instructions, he proceeded to become the most foul mouthed, offensive, sexist, disgusting
SOB I’ve perhaps ever encountered. Every joke (he called them jokes) was so
crass and terrible, that I wondered how we could get him to eject himself from
the room. His goal seemed to be to find
out how many times he could fit the F-word, in verb, noun, and adjectival form,
into one sentence.
And then the men filed in.
I say men, however, out of about 60 guys in there, there
were maybe only 5 that were over 25. And
95% of them were in costume.
The “Host” continued to give instructions, intermixed with
horrific and inappropriate stories. He claimed that when he sees people looking
uncomfortable he stops everyone, to “lighten” the mood. He also mentioned that
he is trying to make it as a stand up comic, which means really we were just
his captive audience. And while some people did laugh, it wasn’t a “you're funny”
laugh. It was a “you're making us all so uncomfortable we don’t know how to
react, and we are young, so we are going to laugh” laugh. He continued to interrupt
throughout the evening, and the tone he set was awful. At one point as he was
blabbering on, he looked at me and my friend and paused, and said, “Wow. Can
you smile? You look like your going to kill me.” Which was true. The best is,
we aren’t sure which one of us he was addressing.
As the “dates” got underway, every stereotype of who you
would expect to be at a Comic Convention was represented: Hard core Gamers,
working as computer programmers or unemployed, living in their parents basements. One of my favorite comments was a guy who told
me that he didn’t fit the “nerd” stereotype because he loved sports. When I
asked him what sport was his favorite he answered, in all seriousness, Ultimate
Frisbee.
Several of them couldn’t even look at me while we were
talking, they were so awkward and nervous.
One of them had several nervous ticks.
And there were also several Bronies, identifiable by small
pins, or buttons. (google it).
We hadn’t even gotten halfway through the group, when the
Host told us we were done, and said that the women had to go to one side of the
room, and the men to the other, to write down who they were interested in
getting to know more. As me and my friend headed towards the women’s table, we
kept walking, and slipped out the side door.
And now my critics are thinking, Oh there goes Linda Marie
again, not giving it all a chance. Forgive me for not wanting to get to know 20
year old’s. One of them asked where I
went to school, and I answered BYU.
“So you’re a cougar?” he said.
“Yep.” I said, to a kid most likely no more than 20. “I’m a
cougar….”
I believe the humor was lost on him.
So I didn’t meet the love of my life.
A friend jokingly posted on Facebook that if I can’t find a
husband at Comic Con, I’m pretty much doomed to be single forever…
So I just haven’t found my niche group yet.
Just wait until the Harry Potter/ JK Rowling fan club comes
to town…
