Peas and Carrots, or The Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is a place that I know well. 

I have my own parking spot, and have lived there (somewhat) comfortably for most of my life.

I’ve had visitors now and again, that seemed like they were interested in having me leave the area, but upon further inspection, they were happy I was there.

And so I have settled in.

The thing is, I’m really good at being peoples friends. (Please note: This is not said in sarcastic font!  What I apparently suck at it beyond. But just friendship- That is what I do!)

All through High School I was in LOVE with a friend from church. We went out once, the summer after my Freshman year at BYU, after being friends for years, and I was ecstatic. He never asked me out again, and a few weeks later started dating the girl he ended up marrying. And I am still his friend.

After High School I hung out with the same guy every day for about three years straight. He was my best friend. We watched movies, ate Taco Bell, and played video games. He taught me about the rules of football through Madden 2000 on PS2. About 10 months in I confessed a crush, he let me down, and then we went on hanging out EVERY DAY for years after that.  And I am still his friend.

In college I dated a guy for months upon months,  who abruptly stopped talking to me at all. Like one day we were making out hanging out, and the next day we weren’t. And I am still his friend.

These are just a select few- there are more. But as you can see, this Friend Zone is a place I know. Perhaps it’s stupidity. Perhaps it's naivety. Perhaps I’m too loyal. 

But once I care about you, I don’t stop.

Reciprocity be damned.

I go to the Friend Zone, and I settle in.

And so, hypothetically speaking, when an old flame friend asks you about your dating life over lunch, pointedly not making eye contact while he fishes out the peas and carrots from his fried rice, you may settle in a little deeper.  And when he asks if his reoccurring character has made any recent appearances on your blog, you may laugh, and settle in a little deeper.

…Hypothetically speaking…

But here’s the thing. And here’s why I truly am perfectly fine with this:

Once you've already mourned that loss, and expectations are off the table, and all you are left with is a person that you really care about and connect to, it’s okay to settle in....

And maybe they have a single friend.