No Socks

Last summer I was riding Trax on my way to a Bee’s game to meet a certain gentleman for the first time.

I was talking to my mom on the phone as I rode. I was reluctant to tell her I was going on a date, as I am not always keen on hearing  her advice. As much as I love her dearly, I always have to do it my own way, even if I end up doing what she said in the first place, as I usually do. I need to delude myself into thinking I can make all my decisions on my own, thank you very much.

This time, however, she imparted this lovely nugget of wisdom:

“Linda. You are so hard on these boys, and find so many faults....”

Wait. 

Pause.

I was watching the Season Premiere of the Bachelorette with my little Mama this past Monday. 

And MAN she was BRUTAL!!! 

“Don’t choose the one with the brain injury! She’ll have a hard time with him!”

“An insurance salesman?? You don’t even need a College Degree to be an insurance salesman!” 

“A CREAM suit?! Why would he wear something so silly?!”

"Why would he say something so ridiculous?? Don't pick HIM!!!!"

I suddenly felt vindicated for every harsh judgement I’ve ever made.

Because it is obviously a genetic trait.

But I diverge-

The Scene: Me riding Trax, pretending I’m savvy because I use public transportation (which I am not because I got off at the wrong stop TWICE and was late...)

Mom: “Linda. You are so hard on these boys, and find so many faults. This time try not to find the faults. Just try to think of one good thing. Even if the only good thing you can come up with is that he is wearing matching socks.”

Me: “grumble grumble grumble grumble”

Mom: “Just one good thing. That is all you need to find.”

So I went in thinking it was pretty sound advice. 

Guess what.

He wasn’t even wearing socks.

He was wearing flip flops. 

HELLO?!?!  SOULMATE?!?!?!

The date progressed, and he was the first normal person I had encountered EVER from my online adventures. My friends called him “Norm” for months afterwards because he was just normal. Now they call him by other names, but that is neither here nor there.

And what, you ask, is here and there???

I have a date tomorrow night.

And I am going to take my moms advice. 

(this is where she faints from pure SHOCK!)

I’m going to try to find one good thing. 

(So far I’m not doing such a good job...)

We are meeting at a really classy place.

Think of the coolest place in downtown SLC you could think to meet...

Are you thinking?

....

....

....

You were right!!

CHILI’S!!!!

(that’s called sarcasm)

While I do love their chips and salsa, he is not scoring too high right now. 

As one of my employees said, if he isn’t interesting enough to think beyond Chili’s...

Let’s just hope he isn’t wearing any socks tomorrow night.