Lip Gloss

I was sitting in my house the other night, eating raw cookie dough, and watching Anne of Green Gables. More specifically, it was Anne of Avonlea, (thank you PBS pledge drive!!) and I watched the whole stupid thing (let’s be honest, part 2 isn’t the best) just so I could see Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe finally confess their love and kiss at the end, on the bridge. 

Besides realizing what a total and complete cliche my life had become in that moment, (I was eating the raw cookie dough, with my cat sitting in my lap, and after that I watched Pride and Prejudice!! I know, I was disgusted by my own actions. I was just in that type of mood.) it made me wonder what is it about us as humans that we are always compelled towards that happy romantic ending.

It is a necessity in all the best stories.  

“And they lived Happily Ever After.”

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is my favorite of the series- why? (well, why aside from the reason that Dumbledore figures prominently, and we all know I have an affinity for gay men.) Because of the whole Harry/Ginny saga! I mean when he finally kisses her after the last Quidditch match!! I die every time!! (yes, we all know I’m that nerdy...)

It carries the plot of practically every great sitcom.

Tony and Angela.

Ross and Rachel.

Jim and Pam.

I cried in the last episode of Parks and Recreation because Leslie and Ben said they loved each-other! (again, cliche to beat all cliches... during this one I was eating a bag of Doritos).

If I could have my money refunded for every stupid rom-com I’ve gone to see- opening weekend, no less- I could take that month long Mediterranean Cruise I’ve always dreamed of. 

We all have the need to validate our assumption that love triumphs over all.

Tomorrow yet another online dating site subscription will expire. 

I am not too keen on renewing it. 

Are you holding out as a reader because you know me, and find me quasi-entertaining? 
Because you have the false assumption that a single life is glamorous and interesting? 
Because you, too, are single, and you feel validated and understood?

Because you can’t wait to hear about the latest train wreck of a date I went on? 

No. You are ALL waiting for that romantic ending. You endure through my posts, like me sitting through Anne of Avonea, to get to the good part. The triumphant ending. 

There is a new reality dating show on VH1 called “Why am I still single?” It caught my attention for obvious reasons. The one tip that the dating coach gave- multiple times- was for girls to wear lip gloss. 

No joke, this is what was in my purse today. ALL of these.

So I'm thinking that my own happy ending isn't that far off. Online Dating be damned, I have a lot of lip gloss. 

So grab your Doritos and Cookie Dough- I'm pretty sure the ending of this story is going to be a doozie.