ROI

ROI

We talk a lot about a Return On Investment (ROI) at my job. 

Are you getting a good enough return for the energy and resources you are investing in any given project?

This has caused me to think about my Dating ROI. 

Most of my past, and rather large, investments had little to no return.

• My marathon crush in Junior High, where I think we spoke all of two times, but I loved him for 2 years.
• Writing a guy letters for 2 full years in High School, back and forth, and then having one date with him.
• Spending 2 full years in college with the same friend, thinking that all of a sudden we would miraculously be more than just friends. (We didn’t). 
• Spending about 2 years, and who knows how much money (that I would much rather be spending elsewhere) on online dating subscriptions with little to show for it. 

(I’m actually sensing a theme in my time investments- 2 years!! No wonder I’m still single...)

Looking up the idea of ROI on Wikipedia gave me this:

And just looking at that gave me this:

Sorry about that.

So anyways...

This week’s Newsweek had a cover story called “Money Brain: The New Science Behind Your Spending Addiction.”  

This cover spoke to me for obvious reasons... 

The basic idea is that the brain is wired differently for people who want instant gratification versus those who plan and save, specifically in parts of the brain that “predict consequences.”  Those who are savers are those who can see long term benefits more- they see the future rewards.

They say that people who are spenders, not savers, are “neither stupid nor irrational [Thank you, Newsweek!!] but often simply don’t accurately foresee the consequences of not saving.”  

“Rewire the brain to find pleasure in future rewards,” Newsweek says, “and you’re on the path to a future you really want.” 

A professor at Claremont Graduate School (shout out, mama!! That’s where her PhD is from!) says that “If you defer gratification, the pay off can be greater than with immediate gratification... But your brain has to learn that.”  He also says that “a squirt of the hormone oxytocin- known as the “love hormone” because of the role it plays in pair bonding and maternal behavior- makes people more patient.” 

Reading this article, I’ve realized that my brain’s ventral striatum and medial prefrontal cortex are, obviously, not wired for instant gratification in matters of the heart. Over the years it has learned to wait, and I am wired to see the future rewards when it comes to love. I see that certain special someone,that Oxytocin comes a pumping into my blood stream, and BOOM- I can wait out anything.

And perhaps that is why I have absolutely no self control when it comes to my shopping addictions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, after all. I may not be able to wait for that sweater at Anthropologie, but when it comes to a man, my patience is staggering. 

It may just be my ventral striatum talking here, but I think that future love payoff- when I do finally get it- is going to be amazing.