Oops, I did it again...

Oops, I did it again...

It has been almost 6 months since I ended my various online subscriptions.

And I had quite the summer, let me tell you.

I had an almost relationship.

An almost relationship is- well, it is exactly what it sounds like. 

So close... but no cigar. 

And really, this boy has ruined me forever. Why, you ask? 

Well.

At the beginning of the summer I said to a dear friend of mine, “You know what? If this is what my life is going to be, I think I’m okay with that. I have a pretty happy life. I don’t need no stinkin’ man!!” 

And then this fellow came along and almost happened. 

And then nothing was fully realized.

Except that I fully realized that I was so full of it. I was absolutely delusional when I said that to my friend.

Because once confronted with the possibility of perhaps maybe almost having a man in my life, I realized that while I don’t need one, I sure would like one. 

A week or so ago one of my sisters said, “But Linda- is this particular guy keeping you from other guys?” with a tone of caution and worry. (because he is still around at times, and still not happening...)

“No!” I said, indignantly. 

But the thing is, and here is the real tragedy, there are no other guys. 

Because stripped of my online arsenal of man toys, the well was once again running dry in my dating world. 

And because this relationship was/is still almost, but not, in a fit of frustration I went home and reenlisted.

I am now one week in on my second tour of duty. Joining the ranks of the millions of hopeful (hopeless?) singles out there. 

And guess what- If I hated it the first time, I DESPISE it this time.

How in the world did I do this for a YEAR last time? How did I stand it? How did I put up with the fools, the d-bags, the septuagenarians that really shouldn’t be allowed to contact me EVER in this context? HOW????

And then I remembered. I made fun of every second. I wrote to the world about every fool, dingbat, lunatic, git out there. 

And so, here I go again. Armed, as I was last time, with snark and wit, and not much else.

As I write this I may or may not be blasting Brittany. And I may or may not be thinking how I should have spent the money on Netflix instead of online dating. And I may or may not still be wishing that what almost was, just was...

But whatever it is I am or am not doing, I am giving it another go...